Hey asshole!

You. Yes, you. Up there in your Audi, chatting on your cell phone as you cut into traffic in front of me. What's the matter? In a rush to get home so you can molest the babysitter before your wife gets there?

Yeah, we've got six lanes here and the three on the right are moving slow. Guess what? It does this every day. You know that of course. That's why you came racing up in the left lanes then slammed on your brakes and cut over to the right at the last moment. The rest of us knew we needed the right lanes; that's why we're sitting here. But you couldn't wait that long, could you? In too much of a hurry to get home to screw your illicit rendezvous that you had to screw the rest of us over first.

You see, the traffic on the left was moving. I say was, because when you slammed on your brakes and cut over the car behind you had to slam on theirs as well. Fortunately they were actually paying attention and managed to avoid you.

Unfortunately the person in the car behind them wasn't; they were on their cell phone too and so rammed into the car that had just successfully avoided hitting your inconsiderate ass. And the car behind them slammed into them as well.

The next guy tried to avoid the crash by swerving to the left. Unfortunately, there was a car there too. (There do tend to be cars in every lane during rush hour; a fact you and several other drivers seem to be unaware of.) So they crashed into another car as well.

So now, instead of six lanes of traffic with three slow lanes, we have six lanes of traffic with three even slower lanes, two completely stopped lanes and one lane still moving but having to dodge more idiots getting out of their cars and wandering around in traffic with their cell phones still pressed to their ears.

Listen idiots. There are cars over there. Still moving. And those drivers aren't paying any more attention than you were. Hey, you yourself just missed seeing a car stopping in front of you. Remember? You just had a fucking accident yourself! Now you're wandering around the middle of the interstate on foot and expecting people paying no more attention than you were to avoid you?

Maybe we'll be lucky and some other cell phone addicted driver will hit you. At least that Darwinian act will remove a few more idiot genes from the pool.

As for the rest of you slowing down and looking; it's an auto wreck! You live in a fucking city! You see them every fucking day! This one looks exactly like every other one you have seen! You don't need to slow down, look at it and take pictures of it on your cell phone camera so you can tell everyone else about the latest fucking wreck you've seen. Just drive!

So now I'm stuck in traffic with all these idiots and it's your fault. I hope the fucking babysitter was worth it. Asshole.

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